Wednesday, March 28, 2012

More Notes on Last Week

Last week was a pretty rocking success. I lost most of the weight I had gained over the last two weeks. I stuck pretty faithfully with WW, and only really stopped tracking on Saturday. I had a birthday party for a 4 year old, and there was a lot of BBQ type foods there to try. I ate a small serving of everything, but didn't graze just because it was there. That's a big problem for me, grazing because I'm bored. I've started to overcome my portion size problems, but I realize when I'm home watching TV, or hanging out, especially if I'm alone, I start to think about food, even if I know I'm not hungry. It's really helped me to drink a glass of water and take 20 minutes. If I'm still "hungry" then I'll eat, but about half the time, I feel better.

Anyway, again, this is a difficult road because I've never really denied myself food before. It's not a punishment (or a reward). It's tasty nourishment, and I have to stop thinking about it like it's something more.

Last week I had even more success with C25K. I was able to run 20 minutes straight on Saturday morning, and even improved my pace! I felt pretty great. Spoilers - this week is even better!

I don't have a lot to report other than I'm happy with my successes. I'll cover this in another update, but this week I've improved my running pace even more AND dropped another 2 lbs and it's only Wednesday. I'm exhausted, and gave myself  a much needed rest day yesterday, but otherwise I just feel pretty great. Healthy. Pretty. I like it.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

PLAN: 3/26-4/1

Monday 3/26: C25K W5D3 (run 2 miles)
Tuesday 3/27: Yoga
Wednesday 3/28: C25K W6D1
Thursday 3/29: Rest
Friday 3/30: C25K W6D2
Saturday 3/31: C25K W6 D3
Sunday 4/1: Rest

1. No alcohol Tuesday-Thursday.*
2. Walk dog. At all. Seriously.
3. Lose 2 lbs.
4. Run 2 miles straight.

*This is a cheat since I usually post on Mondays, and I'm a day late, and I already know I drank wine last night.

Update: 3/19-3/25

Monday 3/19: C25K W5D1 Done, 2.06 miles, 14:04 pace
Tuesday 3/20: Yoga Done
Wednesday 3/21: Rest Done
Thursday 3/22: C25K W5D2 Done, 2.24 miles, 13:50 pace
Friday 3/23: Rest Done
Saturday 3/24: Rest C25K W5D3 Done, 2.05 miles, 13.39 pace (running only was 12:04 pace)
Sunday 3/25: C25K W5D3 Rest Done

1. No alcohol Monday-Thursday. Complete, but I did drink a glass of wine on Wednesday with dinner
2. Walk dog AT LEAST 4 times for 15 minutes. REALLY got to work on this. Fail.
3. Lose 2 lbs. -4.6 lbs1!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

More Notes on Last Week

I'm beginning this post with the aspect of the week that I feel completely awful about. I'm going to start using real numbers here because, a) I doubt many people read this, and b) those who do probably don't care how much I weigh, but also c) it will be helpful to me to speak with specificity about what's going on.

So basically about a year ago I reached my highest weight, 193. I'm 5'7" so that put me at just over "obese" on the BMI scale. I know there's a lot of controversy surrounding BMI and how accurate it is, but it's really the only way I know how to measure my health based on weight. I didn't feel obese a year ago. I definitely didn't look the way I imagine obese people to look. But I knew I didn't feel good. I started C25K again (for, like, the 5th time) and started going to the gym again (for, like, the 5th time). I think I dropped about 2 or 3 lbs overall. Then I switched jobs. My new job was far more physically active. I was constantly walking around the office, or running around the warehouse. By December, I was down to about 185, and I've pretty much been there ever since. I'm not going to say I was feeling great about my body, but I didn't have a whole lot of self-loathing, and my ASSETS from Target certainly helped during the holidays when I had to wear form fitting dresses.

Anyway, fast forward to mid-January when I started Weight Watchers. Immediately, I dropped 2 lbs. I stayed around 182-183 for about 2 or 3 weeks when I wasn't really taking it seriously. Then, in February, I became religious about tracking my food and getting my workouts in. About 2 weeks ago I was down to 177, the lightest I'd been since Eric and I started dating. And in 2 weeks, I completely destroyed all of that hard work. I've binged the last two weekends, and told myself it would be fine since I had saved up my points. That was BS. I felt gross and guilty and refused to track, because I knew that I'd gone over even my activity points. Besides that, my body was trying to get used to a new, healthy way of eating, and I was sabotaging it over the weekend. I'm back up to 184.2, and I know exactly why. It sucks, and at times I feel like a failure. I had finally lost that hint of a double chin I'd been seeing for the last year, and in two weeks I got it back.

I've found these last two weeks to be a wake up call. Weight Watchers really is about creating a new healthy way to eat, and I can't spend the weekdays thriving and the weekends reverting. I HAVE to stick with it all the time. Sure, a drink here or a second serving there won't kill me, but if I'm being honest, these past few weekends were about 3 drinks here and several servings, oh and the popcorn, and the Coke (I gave up soda 2 years ago), and the Doritos (I hate Doritos, so I can't even explain this one).

No. I have to be more strict with myself. I know that now. It's going to be harder than I first thought, but I WANT this. I need this.

Letting go of alcohol is harder than one might imagine, but not necessarily for the reasons one might imagine. During the week of March 5 I said no Weekday Alcohol. And I stuck with that, easily. That's also the week I hit 177. I figured cutting out alcohol would be a great and easy way to help myself drop a few pounds. Eric once explained something sciencey to me about the way that your body will burn off the sugar from alcohol before it starts burning the rest of your caloric intake because it's easier to burn the sugars. The way I interpret that (which may be totally false) is that, if I eat dinner and drink a beer, when I work out I'm only burning off the beer and not any of the food I ate. I don't know. To me, this seems silly, so I might as well cut out the beer, right?

Alright, so that first week, it went well. Then the weekend came, I didn't just have a drink, but like 12, had the drunk munchies, then the hangover munchies, then packed on 5 lbs. 5 lbs in two days. REALLY, JENNY?

Well then this past week happened. I had planned to stay within my allotted daily points and not dip into my weekly points, so I could use them over the weekend. But Monday we went out with some friends to Taco Mac, and everyone ordered a beer. Tuesday was a bad day for Eric, so we went out to one of our favorite pubs, and everyone had...well several beers. Thursday we had a friend over for burgers, and they had wine. There's something about being the only one in a social situation not drinking that makes me feel awkward. And it's REALLY stupid, I know, because every single person we hung out with this week is super supportive of my attempt to lose weight. And it is definitely super self-involved to think that they would have any opinion whatsoever on what I'm drinking with my meal. But, when everyone around me is drinking, I feel the need to join in.

So anyway, as a way to avoid the self-inflicted awkward situation, as well as help my diet in general and my budget, I'm just going to avoid eating out on weeknights. It's much easier to control myself when I'm home, so for now that's what I'm going to do.

I have to say, with all of the failure lack of success this week, I am very thankful that I gave myself a non-weight related goal. Tracking C25K and completing each workout makes me feel so accomplished. I feel especially great this week since W4D2 was apparently such a challenge on the dreadmill treadmill. My problem is that I try to maintain an unrealistic pace (12 min/mi) during the jogging phase because I can see the number at all times. I refuse to slow down until I'm too exhausted to continue, and then I can't finish. Moving outside to the road, there are no numbers to maintain, so I just go as fast or as slow as my body will let me. Once I hit the road, I was able to finish D2 and D3. And, since the weather has turned to spring already, it's nice to have a reason to be outside, and to get some sun.

This week, the running intervals are increased to 5 mins x3 with 3 min walking intervals. By this weekend, according to the program, I should be able to jog 2 miles or 20 mins without stopping. That's something I've literally never done in my entire life, but after this weekend, I feel like it's totally possible. So while the scale may not be moving in the right direction, and my will power is made of Jello, I did accomplish some great things this week with my running, and I'm really excited to keep going.

On top of that, I've also been keeping track of my miles, and I logged over 10 this week. It's just really nice to have something outside of weight loss to focus on and be proud of.

This is hard. Much harder than I anticipated. But I will win. I will be healthy. It will be awesome. On the plus side, Eric has been extremely supportive over the last two months. He comments almost daily about how toned I'm starting to look (mostly just my legs), and how happy I seem. We love each other, and are clearly attracted to each other, but it's no secret that we're kind of a chubby couple. Finding the right balance of support without being offensive is a serious skill that he's mastered (and I'm still trying to figure out). He gets an A+ this week.

Monday, March 19, 2012

PLAN: 3/19-3/25

Monday 3/19: C25K W5D1
Tuesday 3/20: Yoga
Wednesday 3/21: Rest
Thursday 3/22: C25K W5D2
Friday 3/23: Rest
Saturday 3/24: Rest
Sunday 3/25: C25K W5D3

1. No alcohol Monday-Thursday.
2. Walk dog AT LEAST 4 times for 15 minutes.
3. Lose 2 lbs.

Update: 3/12-3/18

Monday 3/12: C25K W4D2 Treadmill, but couldn't finish the last 5 minute jogging interval
Tuesday 3/13: Yoga Completed, and it was awesome; also attempted C25K W4D2 on treadmill again, still couldn't finish
Wednesday 3/14: C25K W4D3 Walked 2.8 miles
Thursday 3/15: Rest C25K W4D2 in neighborhood with Eric, completed!
Friday 3/16: C25K W5D1 Rest
Saturday 3/17: C25K W5D2 Rest
Sunday 3/18: Rest C25K W4D3 in neighborhood with Kate, completed!

1. No alcohol Monday-Friday Failed, mostly because we either went out for dinner or had company over, and it's weird not to drink in those situations. More thoughts on that later.
2. Walk Johnny 5x/week for more than 15 minutes Fail, it was more like 3-4 times for at least 10 minutes.
3. Lose 2 lbs Total fail, up 2 lbs.

More thoughts to come later. Even though I didn't succeed at my goals, I do feel better overall. But being back almost at my starting weight is a real kick in the ass and sucks A LOT.

Monday, March 12, 2012

More Notes on Last Week

I love running outside. I've been terrified of doing it for a long time. Hills! Cars! People! No sidewalk! I've tried running outside before, obviously, as I've done a few 5Ks, but I was never ever comfortable with it. Until now. I don't know what it is about my neighborhood, but I love running up and down the streets. It's so green, and the houses are all so different. It's nice to just be outside, even if I know I'm super slow and don't look anything like the career runners I usually pass.

C25K is going well. It's hard, but not one said it would be easy. I ran outside with Kate on Saturday, and I feel sort of like I had a breakthrough. I missed the first running prompt by a minute, but ran through the first walking break, which meant I ran (at probably a 13 min/mile pace) for 8.5 minutes. So even though our pace was pretty slow, I still feel like I'm making good progress and can see myself running 3 miles by summer.

I know a big part of weightloss is decreasing alcohol intake. I've been a pretty regular drinker for about 2 or 3 years now. I wouldn't say it was a super unhealthy amount, but I definitely like a glass of wine (or 2) or a beer with dinner. To be honest, out of all of my eating habits, that's probably the biggest contributing factor to my weight gain. Last week I skipped the spirits during the week, ate healthy, and saw my weight drop 2 lbs in 4 days.

Then the weekend hit, I drank several beers on Friday, and a ton of wine and whiskey on Saturday. Saturday's drinking led to binge eating and hangover cravings on Sunday. I saw my digestion take a plummet, and my weight was back up.

I don't want to quit drinking completely, just for the sake of weightloss. It's a social thing, and I like a cold beer with tacos, or a nice glass of red with pasta. But that's just it. I can't save up all my points over the week and go absolutely crazy on the weekends. It needs to be moderation in the truest sense of the word, not just my warped and bias fake definition. I've been able to control my food portions, which I thought would be the hardest aspect of losing weight. I've even been able to stay in control on the weekends. I just need to relay that willpower to the drinking.

I don't know what else to say. I'm proud of my runs and most of my eating. I had a few missteps that cost me some pounds, but overall I'm feeling really good, and that's really what this is all about. Obviously I don't want to gain any MORE weight this week, because then I'll be back to square one, but I don't mind the weight gain and the setback, and I won't let it get to me. It's my fault, and I'm pretty sure I know how to fix it.

PLAN: 3/12-3/18

Monday 3/12: C25K W4D2
Tuesday 3/13: Yoga
Wednesday 3/14: C25K W4D3
Thursday 3/15: Rest
Friday 3/16: C25K W5D1
Saturday 3/17: C25K W5D2
Sunday 3/18: Rest

1. No alcohol Monday-Friday
2. Walk Johnny 5x/week for more than 15 minutes
3. Lose 2 lbs

More thoughts on the last few weeks to come.

Update 3/5-3/11

Monday 3/5: C25K W2D3 Completed W3D2
Tuesday 3/6: C25K W3D2 Not completed, Rest
Wednesday 3/7: C25K W3D3 Completed W3D3
Thursday 3/8: 45-60 minute walk Completed W4D1
Friday 3/9: C25K W4D1 Not completed, rest
Saturday 3/10: Yoga and 45-60 minute walk Completed W4D1
Sunday 3/11: C25K W4D2 Not completed, Rest

1. No alcohol Monday-Friday Mostly accomplish. Did have 1 glass of wine on Thursday.
2. Track all food and drink Accomplished until Saturday night.
3. Walk Johnny 30 minutes 5x/week Fail, because I am a terrible pet owner. We walked 3 or 4 times for 10-15 minutes. Not enough.
4. Lose 2lbs Fail. Gained 2.6 lbs.

- I skipped redoing any C25K workouts and skipped straight back into W3 without too much of a problem. I forgot to set the incline on the treadmill on Monday, making it feel too easy.
- My W4D1 run was outside in my neighborhood with Kate. It was pretty slow, but very enjoyable. The hills were killer.
- I stuck to the diet all during the week, and had actually lost 2 lbs by Thursday.

- No yoga at all.
- Definitely not walking my dog enough.
- Weight gain. The issue here is that I saved all of my extra points during the week and binged this weekend. I'm sure that's what lead to the weight gain, even though the points were technically budgeted. I also think that digestion played an issue this weekend. I didn't drink any alcohol and ate mostly whole foods for the first few days, and then drank lots of beer, wine, and even some whiskey this weekend, and my stomach rebelled. Rethinking the weekend strategy for this week.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

More Notes on Last Week

I've definitely been cooking more at home, and I'm careful about what I buy, but I haven't really had the opportunity to go grocery shopping since we were out of town. Still feeling pretty good about not eating too much junk and processed food though.

Last week I worked on C25K W3. I've been doing pretty well, but as expected, our trip to the mountains put a little kink in the plans. I'm not stupid, so this week I know I may need to do an extra workout or two to get up to speed (pun intended) for W4. Also, at least once a week I forget to set an incline on the treadmill so my workouts feel much easier than they should. All the more reason to run outside, I suppose.

The first part of last week I stuck to WW pretty closely. I didn't go over my points at all Monday and Tuesday, and Wednesday I only went over by a handful. I worried about vacation. We anticipated being rained in which meant a) no physical activity and b) eating and drinking out of sheer boredom. I was happily wrong about no activity. Never underestimate the power of an intense living room dance party with your best friend. Also, we weren't rained in on Saturday and were able to walk around Highlands. As for the eating and drinking out of boredom, well yes. That happened. But you know the strangest thing? I didn't eat too much. In fact, come meal time I always ate just enough. I made chili on Friday and had only one bowl. We had tacos on Saturday and I had three. I didn't snack too much. I definitely drank quite a bit, but it was mostly light beer and a few glasses of wine. I'm not sure how, but as a result, overall I lost over 3 lbs last week. Which brings me to:

The weightloss right now is motivation enough to continue eating right. I've lost 5lbs so far (14 since this time last year). I've hit a number on the scale I haven't seen since Eric and I first started dating. I'm starting to recognize my face again. That's a huge thing. When you start putting on weight, and it's so slow at first, you don't realize the small changes that happen until one day you look in the mirror and a girl with a double chin and hollow dark eyes is looking back. I know some beautiful women who carry their weight well. I'm not saying a size 4, 6, or 8 is perfect for everyone. But the size I was a few short weeks ago, it didn't feel like me. This minor weightloss has really kicked me into overdrive. I miss my body. I wasn't thin in high school or even college (I fluctuated between size 10 and 14), but I was me, and I haven't been me in a while. It's hard to express really, but suffice it to say, I'm just feeling better.

Motivation to keep working out on the other hand - that's a different story. I need to give myself a goal to keep with the C25K plan. A few weeks ago Old Navy was having a sale on their jeans. $19.99 for any pair, and get a coupon to lock in that price through May. I tried to buy some jeans at the time, but they didn't have any in my size. I told the sales associate, and he gave me the coupons anyway, so I could try my luck later. My goal is to complete the C25K plan and run a 5K. Upon completing the 5K (running w/out stopping unless absolutely necessary), I can go directly to Old Navy and use my coupons. At that point, I may even be down a jean size or two. :)

Monday, March 5, 2012

PLAN: 3/5-3/11

Monday 3/5: C25K W2D3
Tuesday 3/6: C25K W3D2
Wednesday 3/7: C25K W3D3
Thursday 3/8: 45-60 minute walk
Friday 3/9: C25K W4D1
Saturday 3/10: Yoga and 45-60 minute walk
Sunday 3/11: C25K W4D2

1. No alcohol Monday-Friday
2. Track all food and drink
3. Walk Johnny 30 minutes 5x/week
4. Lose 2lbs

It's a pretty intense schedule, but I took some time off last week and need to build up my running intervals quickly to stay motivated. My friend, Jenn, told me about a free boot camp at Stone Mountain that I may try on Saturday instead of yoga. We'll see. Pretty excited to get back on schedule though.

Update: 2/27-3/4

Monday 2/27: C25K W3D1 Complete
Tuesday 2/28: Yoga & Optional 30 minute walk Not complete
Wednesday 2/29: C25K W3D2 Complete
Thursday 3/1 - Sunday 3/4: Hike/Interval Running/Walk, weather permitting Not complete

1. Complete scheduled workouts for Monday-Wednesday Mostly Successful
2. Track all food and drink FAIL
3. No alcohol Monday-Wednesday No alcohol Monday or Tuesday, but met Eric for drinks Wednesday
4. Maintain weight Lost 3.8lbs!